Valentine's Valdez
by PalmerPie
Summary: It was that dreaded day. The day that gave men of all ages nightmares and sent women on terrifying rampages of destruction. The day where no matter where you go, the restaurants are crowded. Yes, it was that fated day. February 14th. Valentine's Day. So what's seventh wheel Leo Valdez supposed to do about it? Valentine's Oneshot. Rate K Plus for one swear word. Caleo.


**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, nor the amazing PJO series, but you know Uncle Rick, if you ever think of selling, just give me a call and we'll talk ;) Haha jk I could never write it as awesome as he did, but I would totally change the movies for the fandom.  
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**This Valentine's oneshot was inspired by one of my followers, Elmlea. Sorry gurl, I didn't want to portray you inaccurately, so I hope this Caleo story satisfies!**

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_Valentine's Valdez_

It was that dreaded day. The day that gave men of all ages nightmares and sent women on terrifying rampages of destruction. The day where seven gangsters were murdered in cold blood. The day where no matter where you go, the restaurants are crowded. And worst of all, the day where chocolate prices went through the roof. Yes, it was that fated day. February 14th. Valentine's Day.

For his own safety and protection, Leo had snuck out of the cabin past midnight to his fortress of awesomeness, as he sometimes liked to call it, knowing that he wouldn't have survived through breakfast with the rest of the campers making gooey eyes at each other. He knew to avoid his friends and they knew to avoid him, knowing how he felt about the holiday. _Especially _Piper. As much as Leo loved her like a sister, she was a child of Aphrodite and whether she wanted to not, she just went nuts on this day with the rest of her cabin. At times like these he actually felt pity for his best friend Jason.

He turned to Buford. "Looks like it's just you and me today buddy."

The said table seemed to look rather embarrassed as he tilted his front side forward, as if apologizing before running off towards the supply closet in Bunker 9 where Leo kept the Lemon Pledge with extra moisturizing formula. Great. Even his walking table had a date and he didn't.

"Traitor!" he called, shaking his fist at the treacherous piece of furniture, "Where's your loyalty?!"

There was no reply, and Leo let out a sigh before plopping back down on the couch. Thankfully he had restocked his supply of snacks that were as flaming hot as him, aka hot cheetos and takis, a few days prior. He could stay cooped up in this place for days if necessary. However, he didn't have time to waste. This Valentine's was special, and he'd miss his chance if he continued to procrastinate. He stood up from the couch and made his way to the workshop, a plan slowly forming in his head.

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Several hours later, after the campers usually had their breakfast, Leo heard someone knock on the outside of the cliff where Bunker 9 was located and put the tools he had been holding down. He bounded over to entrance and was about to let the person in when he froze. Just as a precaution he asked, "Who is it?"

"Jason," a muffled voice replied. But something felt off. He wasn't sure what it was, but somewhere in his gut, he knew the person standing outside wasn't his best friend. Leo waited a few more seconds before saying, "You sure?"

"Course, dude. Now let me in so we can talk about guy stuff without Beauty Queen around."

Leo leaned forward, compelled to open the door for his friend, his hand outstretched and about to set fire to the opening when he stopped. "Wait a second."

"Hades, Valdez," the voice grunted in frustration, "hurry up."

"But," something began to dawn upon him, "Jason never calls Piper 'Beauty Queen'."

There was a moment of silence as Leo began to break out into a cold sweat before the person outside suddenly began banging loudly against the limestone cliff, "Damn it, Repair Boy let me in! No one should be alone on Valentine's Day!"

Leo let out a dramatic gasp in horror as he backed away from the door. "So it was you! How could you! I can't believe you used charmspeak on one of your best friends!"

"I'm gonna do more than that if you don't open the door in the next five seconds," Piper threatened as she continued banging again the cliff. "So surrender and come out here so I can set you up on a date with a girl at camp or I'll tell everyone about the time you burned your swim trunks off at the beach!"

"You wouldn't dare." Piper's threat had turned Leo's voice into a hoarse whisper, "How am I supposed to face the rest of my cabin after they hear a story like that?!"

He heard her suddenly yelp, followed by the sound of a smack and he realized she was fighting with someone. "Pipes? Are you okay? Who's out there?"

"No one," Piper replied as continued sounds of a struggle could be heard from outside the bunker, "Listen, I'm sorry Valdez I was trying to keep this side of me from coming out as much as possible but it-" grunt "it's not working. Call Jason and tell him to get over here before-ah!-before I decorate the camp with your under drawer! Don't call my boyfriend!"

"Ah Hephaestus, she's back," Leo muttered. He silently thanked the usual Piper for at least trying to hold off her Aphrodite-ness longer than usual. He quickly headed over to the fountain and threw a drachma in. Because this was an emergency he decided to use the direct line Percy had taught him and said, "Oh Fleecy, do me a solid. Show Jason Grace at Camp Half Blood."

The water rippled for a moment, before the son of Zeus came into view. Leo let out a sigh. "I should've known to expect this. I mean, you can defeat some big tough Titan guy called Krios with your own hands and be one of the seven demigods that took Gaea down but you get tied up by your own girlfriend? Really?!"

If Jason hadn't been gagged, the words he seemed to be saying would have been vocal. Leo sighed again. "Man you are so whipped. Percy and Annabeth are out on a date, aren't they?"

At Jason's attempt to nod while being tied to a chair, Leo hung his head. "Well I'm screwed. It was nice knowing you dude. Piper will probably be back in less than an hour after she annihilates me." He waved goodbye and splashed his hand in the water, ending the call. The banging had stopped and there was only silence but that just seemed to make the situation even scarier, like one of those horror movies where the murderer pops out of nowhere. And Leo was the victim. But thankfully Piper couldn't-

"I thought I told you not to call my boyfriend," a voice whispered softly behind him. He let out a manly shriek before turning around to find his Valentine's possessed friend staring at him, her head tilted to the side, a crazed look in her eyes.

"Who me?" Leo's voice cracked at the end of his rhetorical question, "I wasn't calling Jason. That was, uh, my alarm. It's Jason's voice because, um," he tried to make his next words sound as convincing as possible, "I'm sorry! I'm in love with Jason, okay? I just, uh, wanted to avoid him on this day, because-"

He didn't get a chance to continue his crappy lying when Piper suddenly pulled Katoptris out and pointed it at his neck. Leo held his hands in the air as a sign of surrender. "Okay! Okay! I'm lying! I'm not gay for your boyfriend, I swear! In fact, I'm not gay for anyone! Well, except for Tristan McLean, but he's your dad and it's just a celebrity guy crush thing I swear!"

The Valentine's possessed Piper looked at him strangely for a moment, before saying, "You need a date."

"No I don't! Almost 43% of the world's single! And I just happen to be the only amazingly awesome and flame-tastic one of them. How did you get in here anyway?"

Piper nodded toward the entrance, where a blowtorch laid on the ground. "Nyssa lent it to me."

"By lent do you mean you charmspoke to her and she handed it over?"

"No, I have standards, thank you. I helped her confess to a guy she had a crush on."

Leo looked aghast. "She had a crush on someone at camp?!"

"There's nothing wrong with liking a guy! She's a girl too!"

"Not that!" Leo flailed his arms, "I told all the girls in our cabin that they could come to be for guy trouble! Why didn't Nyssa tell me?!"

The statement shocked Piper so much she dropped Katoptris. "Wait you seriously told them to go to _you_ for problems like that?"

"Of course."

"You," she repeated, "Leo Valdez."

"That's my name."

"A guy that's never gone on a date, let alone had a girlfriend."

He pouted, "Now that's just harsh."

"You really expected them to go to _you_ for trouble?"

"You're making it sound worse than it is," Leo protested, "I've kissed-"

His eyes widened and he froze and judging by the sudden glint in Piper's eye he suddenly wished he had risked interrupting Percy and Annabeth's date for help, "I mean, uh-"

"Leo," Piper's voice was suddenly sickly sweet, almost like Drew's, and he could feel his heart slamming against his ribcage, "you kissed a girl, and didn't tell me?"

"I, uh," he stammered.

"Don't you _dare_ lie to me."

Leo finally lowered his head in defeat, "Alright, you win Beauty Queen, I kissed a girl, okay? And I'm making her something for Valentine's Day, which is why I'm all cooped up here like a hermit. Well I was kind of avoiding you too, I mean, have you seen yourself on Valentine's Day? You're freaking TERRIFYING."

The crazed look in her eyes began to fade, telling Leo that he had a small chance at survival. He continued, praying it would bring the normal Piper back. "She's kind of stuck somewhere at the moment, and I have this whole awesome plan to get her back, but it's not finished yet, so I decided to do something for her today, just so she knows not to lose faith in me. In us."

Piper suddenly threw her arms around him in a hug. "That's really sweet of you Repair Boy. I won't murder you or set you up on a date today. Promise."

"Swear it on River Styx?" Leo asked hopefully.

"Don't get your hopes up that high Valdez. I don't know if you're lying or not."

An awkward cough came from the entryway, and they turned to see Jason. Piper's boyfriend. Leo's best friend. Who was supposed to be tied up at his cabin. Watching them embrace. On Valentine's Day. A day for couples. Talk about bad timing. Leo was at least smart enough to let go of Piper and put a few feet of distance between them before speaking. "Uh, I can explain?"

Jason at the two of them, then at the blowtorch lying by his feet, and shook his head, letting out a sigh. "No need. Just give me back my girlfriend so I can spend the rest of the day with her."

"She's all yours."

Piper walked over to her boyfriend, kissing him on the cheek and said, "Our little Leo's growing up."

"Never thought I'd see the day."

"Hey!"

With his arm around Piper's waist, Jason turned around, heading back to camp, sending a wave over his head. "Good luck dude."

"You too. Don't get tied up again."

"Shut up."

Leo let out a breath of relief, having survived that situation, before noticing the time on a nearby wall clock. "Crap! I don't have much time left!" After closing the entrance to Bunker Nine, and gathering what was left of his amazing wits, he changed into a self-designed "Team Leo" shirt for support and headed back to the workshop to finish his work.

After several more hours of tinkering, Leo leaned back in his chair and sighed. He had finished in time. it was past dinner time and the sky had already turned dark. The others were probably sitting around the bonfire and being all lovey dovey. He shuddered in horror at the thought of Clarisse being that way with Chris. Everything was ready for the final event. He just had to make one emergency call to his dad….

* * *

On the island of Ogygia, a girl knelt by her garden, tending to moonlace and several other crops, when she heard a voice from behind her. "Today's Valentine's Day."

She turned around and glared at the god of forges. "I thought you didn't care for these types of celebrations."

"Well I know you certainly don't," Hephaestus replied his usual gruff voice, "but I don't come on my own terms."

She eyed him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

He stroked his beard. "A while back, one of my sons landed on your island. His name was-"

"Leo Valdez," she interrupted, "if you're worried about me being too involved with your offspring or anything like that, you don't need to worry, he had to leave, just like all the others. He wasn't any different from-"

"You're wrong," he cut in, "I come on his terms." He held out a hand. Sitting in the center of his palm, was a small rectangular present, covered in wrapping paper and tied with beautiful bow in the center. She stared at it. "What's that?"

"He hasn't forgotten about you, you know. He wanted me to pass on a message. That he's coming back."

The girl shut her eyes, tears stinging the back of her eyes. "That idiot!"

Hephaestus set it on the sandy ground. "It'll open when it's time. Just know that he cares more than you let yourself believe. I must go back now. It takes a lot of effort these days to control my wife on such a holiday. I'll drop by again sometime."

And with a slight nod, the god of fire and father of Leo Valdez disappeared, leaving the girl alone with a present that brought back unwanted emotions and memories. With no one present to blame, she glared angrily at the small decorated box, imagining the smug face of the scrawny Latino boy in the center and chucked her trowel at it. "Why'd you have to come back?!"

The moment her shovel made contact with the package, it began to tremble and the girl stumbled back in shock. Before she could blink the box erupted and a high pitch siren noise filled the air. She flinched and covered her ears but continued watching the phenomenon, staring at awe as a single flame shot high into the sky, before exploding into shimmers of light, as scenes from their time together appeared in the night sky: when she had first rejected him, how she had brought him food, and their first and last kiss. Spark after spark shone in the night sky, and the girl realized that this was what Hephaestus had referred to as fireworks, but she had never truly understood the beauty of them until that day. As the scenes in the sky began to disintegrate, one she hadn't noticed until then remained. As she read the words, she covered her mouth, unable to speak as tears rolled down her cheeks. The remaining message in the sky read: "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters. COMING SOON! Happy Valentine's Day. Miss me sweetheart?"

Touched by the fact that she had never received such an amazing gift before, and laughing and crying at the same time, she wiped furiously at her eyes, her heart full of so many emotions she had never felt before. When she found her voice again, the girl finally said to the night sky, "Happy Valentine's, Valdez."

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**I totally apologize if this one shot seemed a little fast, or rushed. I only had a few days til the 14th and I didn't want to break my promise! This was my first time writing from Leo's POV so if you enjoyed or have any tips on how to make my writing more accurate I'm all ears! I did some research to try to make this fanfic as true to the characters and plot and setting as much as possible so if I got something wrong there please tell me as well.  
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**Hope you all enjoyed this Valentine's oneshot! It's my first time writing something for Valentine's, mostly because I see this holiday as a "Forever Alone Day" and "Inflated Chocolate Prices Day" but I had fun writing it with the deadline and thinking of the plot!  
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**If you enjoyed, please follow, favorite and review! I would love to get feedback, or maybe a suggestion/request. ^_^**

**Happy Valentine's Day to all you couples out there and Happy Single Awareness Day to the rest of you (don't worry I feel you)!**

**Less than three,**

**PalmerPie**


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